The Great Penny War
by Marie S Zachary
Summary: When Sheldon goes too far and upsets Penny Leonard is furious.


Disclaimer: I don't own BBT

* * *

Leonard stormed into the apartment he shared with Sheldon. He was furious. Sheldon had gone **way too far **this time.

"It would appear from your facial expressions that you are angry," Sheldon said.

"Your ability to state the obvious really never ceases to amaze me," Leonard snapped, "What the hell were you thinking destroying BANJO?"  
Banjo was Penny's stuffed teddy bear. Her older brother had given it to her when he was sick. He was the middle child and the only boy. He was 8 and she was 4. They had another sister in college. He was her best friend. Shortly after Tyler gave her the teddy bear he died.

"Penny got drunk and she ruined our guys day out plus she destroyed SCIENCEOPOLY," Sheldon explained, "She had to be punished for that and I didn't think aggression would have been an appropriate choice since your her boyfriend and I knew you would never-"

"You know something Sheldon. I understand you have OCD but that is no excuse for you to be an A S S."

"Clever word play," Sheldon said.

"Look," Leonard replied, "You went **too **far. I agree that Penny getting drunk was a concern but you destroyed something that was precious to her. Believe me Sheldon Lee Cooper that is **not **going to go unpunished."

"I can't believe you're taking her side!" Sheldon exclaimed.

"Well you destroyed the last thing her brother gave her and he's **dead**. I would have talked to her about why she was drunk and that would have been the end of it. You really hurt her badly. That was **not **okay. Now if you'll excuse me I am going to the toy store."

"Oh get me a star wars collectable," Sheldon said.

"NO," Leonard replied, "I'm not getting **anything **for you. You've made my list right now."

"But-"  
Leonard held up a hand to shut him up.

"Why are you going to the toy store," Sheldon asked.

"TO GET A BANJO," Leonard said.

"Make sure it's a quality instrument."

"NOT THAT TYPE OF BANJO YOU IDIOT," Leonard snapped, "Penny's Banjo"

"Well that's just undoing everything I did," Sheldon said.

"Uh-huh. I know it is"

"But that's just wrong," Sheldon said, "How would you feel if I contradicted you."

"If I ever do what you did you have my permission to contradict me." Leonard replied.

Sheldon walked into his bedroom and he freaked out. His comic books were all shredded up. Leonard was standing in the middle of the comic books.

"WHAT DID YOU DO," Sheldon yelled.

"Hurts doesn't it," Leonard replied calmly

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT," Sheldon screamed, "That was unbelievably cruel."

"No," Leonard replied, "What you did was cruel?"

"THAT'S IT," Sheldon said, "I'm pulling out the big guns"  
Leonard shook his head.

"No you're not," he replied, "That's not an option."

"Sure it is," Sheldon said, "And I'm going to do it."

"Well if you do I'm going to sit on your special chair **after **I have drunk fourteen glasses of milk and fill it with nautilus gas."  
Sheldon groaned.

"Fine I won't pull out the big guns but this isn't over!"

Leonard rolled his eyes. Of course it wasn't over. This was Sheldon. He would turn everything into a huge battle. But Leonard wasn't going to cave on this one. He was like his cousin Charles... stubborn when need be. He was too tired to even think about it so he brushed his teeth and went to bed.  
He woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon which he hated. That smell made him sick.  
_Lame_, he thought to himself.  
Sheldon opened his desk at his office and found a rat in his drawer.

_You have got to be kdding, _he thought to himself, "A rat? Great. I have another lab animal for my experiments."  
This seemed to be going on and on for weeks. Finally Leonard had enough.

"Okay," Leonard said, "You win."

"You're going to take away the replacement Banjo?"

"Are you insane! No way am I doing that!"

"Fine. Are you going to take the situation in hand?"

"SHELDON STOP THIS," Leonard said, "Penny got drunk because she had a rough day. I'm sorry that she ruined SCIENCEOPOLY but I am not sorry she came over. She is my girlfriend and I love her. And do not suggest that I don't accept her. Penny is accepted no matter what!"

"Oh yeah? What if Penny says the taboo thing?"

"I DON'T CARE! Penny is different. She's special Sheldon. Penny is my reason for getting up in the morning. Penny is the reason I do what I do. She is the reason I've made the sacrifices I've made."

"You didn't even know her then," Sheldon pointed out

"Yes I did," Leonard replied, "I didn't know her specifically no but I knew that there was someone out there that was for me. She was the light to my bulb. She was the spice to my peppers. I imagined she would be beautiful both on the inside and out. I didn't want her to be flawless because then she would have no depth to her but I wanted her to be confident in the way she felt no matter if it was wrong or right. Penny is all of that and more. She's accepted because she's the one for me."

"But that's not fair," Sheldon said, "If I were to act in a way that was taboo I would never be accepted."

"Are you kidding me? Sheldon what do you think the way you acted when you destroyed Banjo was? That was totally taboo. Sheldon you're my best friend and even though I don't always like the way you act I would never ever reject you. The same goes for Raj and he's totally off base and Howard also totally off base."  
Sheldon laughed a little. Then he got serious.

"To be honest with you," he said, "I was worried."

"What were you worried about," Leonard asked.

"I was worried I was losing my best friend," Sheldon said, "You **are **my best friend. I felt like Penny was replacing me."

"Look," Leonard said, "Penny will never replace you. You will never replace Penny. All of my friends are people I love. Penny puts the light in my eyes. You put the gray in my hair."

"You know technically what happens is-"

"SHELDON IT WAS A JOKE," Leonard said, "I don't need a science education."

"Why was Penny having a rough night," Sheldon asked.

"Well her dad was an alcoholic and when he used to get drunk he would say and do the cruelest things to her. She had memories of that."

"So she drank to dull the pain of the memory of her father drinking. That's a paradox."

"Sheldon why do you always have to bring everything back to science," Leonard asked.

"Science is safe," Sheldon said.

"What does that even mean science is safe," Leonard asked, "So much danger is in science. What about Marie Curry who died from radiation poisoning?"

"What I mean is science makes sense. There is always an answer even if it is based on a hypothesis. Without science we would have no penicillin or radio or video games. I understand that you are spiritual and that you are you and there are many things you're right about but to me if it's not scientific it's random and scary."

"You know Sheldon a lot of people find science to be random and scary too," Leonard pointed out.

"Well then they're crazy," Sheldon said, "They're radicals"

"You sound ridiculous," Leonard said

"Are you telling me that you don't ever get mad?"

"Sure I do," Leonard said, "I got mad at you remember?"

"Only because Penny was upset about Banjo," Sheldon replied.

"That reminds me," Leonard said, "You have to apologize to Penny."

"Fine," Sheldon said, "on one condition"

"What's that," Leonard asked.

"You have to replace all the comic books you destroyed,"

"Relax," Leonard said, "I never destroyed them. I made replicas of those comic books and destroyed the replicas to make you think I destroyed your comic books."

"Well... I guess thank you," Sheldon said.

"Well I guess you're welcome," Leonard replied.

(knock, knock, knock) "Penny?"

(Knock, knock, knock) "Penny?"

(Knock, knock, knock) "Penny?"  
Penny opened the door.

"Hey Sheldon," she said, "What's up?"

"I need to apologize to you. I was wrong to destroy Banjo. I know it hurt you and I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was just trying to teach you a lesson."

"Sheldon it's okay. I accept your apology. I know you didn't mean to do it and it was weeks ago anyway."

"Thank you," Sheldon said.  
Finally the great Penny War was over.


End file.
